I have a dream. I want to get up on stage at the Oscars and accept my award for best screenplay.
I already know how this is going to go. With a tear in my eye, I’m going to thank my parents, the boyfriend I don’t have yet and the assorted creative people who made my masterpiece come alive on the big screen.
I will hoist my golden man high in my designer tuxedo and trot off stage to be interviewed by the world press, shortly before going off to after parties where the little man and I will be photographed by all the trash mags in town before getting inhumanly annihilated on alcohol and waking up in Hugh Hefner’s garden.
The only problem with this dream is that I work in advertising as a copywriter, I wrote one crap screenplay and I live in Sydney. None of this is going to help me get to where I want to be, taking my rightful place in the dog-eared magazines in dentist offices everywhere.
Oh, and LA terrifies me.
So I decided to go to LA for a recon mission, to see what it’s all about. I fly over for a writer’s symposium staying in a hotel near the 101 freeway. In two days I decide I’m going to live here. All I have with me is a bag of clothes, a couple of ideas for screenplays and the number of a friend of a friend.
Which is a lot more than some people start out with. So I gave away my comfortable life in Sydney, my very comfortable salary in advertising and looking down the barrel of 34 years old, I rented my first pad in Venice Beach and began a journey where I know the destination, but none of the stuff that’s going to happen in between.
So that’s when I started writing these LA Stories. It started as a series of emails to friends as a way of keeping everyone updated about my life in Tinsel Town. And a way to broadcast my witty and pithy comments about the curious creatures that populate this demented little city by the sea.
Four years later, I find myself with a truckload of these stories, plus an email list of a couple of hundred people that I send them out to. I keep losing track of emails, and am admittedly a bit techno-crap, so I have decided to join the 20th century and start a blog. I mean, 21st.
I’ve gone back and re-edited some of these and am placing them up in chronological order, with entry dates from around the time that they occurred. These will be going up over the next few weeks till I catch up to 2010.
So, old readers, welcome back. And new readers, pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. The tales of LA, my LA Stories, beginneth here…