I am bored.
I am, like, so bored.
I am having one of those inevitable days in the office where you are squashed under the crushing weight of your boredom.
I am looking at webpages that I’ve looked at three times today already. They haven’t changed. Neither has the clock, or so it seems.
The oddest thing about boredom is that it doesn’t preclude being busy. I am. We are. Yet all the activity doesn’t make the boredom monster go away.
And so to fill in my days, I make a list of activities that help fill in the hours. And stop me sticking pencils in my eyes.
– Check fashion blogs. Look at pretty clothes. Wonder who spends $300 on a t-shirt.
– Make coffee. Drink half of it. Leave it absent-mindedly on someone else’s desk.
– Walk past the desk of the one person at work I find attractive. This activity kind of blows when you’re gay. I mean nothing is going to happen. But it’s no less pointless than a lot of other things I’ll do today. And is does get me out of my chair.
– More Facebook.
– Stack things on my desk. This gives the oddest sense of accomplishment when really nothing is going on.
– Too much Facebook.
– Go to the kitchen. Pull out the cookies. Look at them. Realize I don’t want one. Put them back.
– Check that my cell is on. It is. God I wish someone would call me. That would fill in some time. But I won’t phone anyone. That would be slacking off.
– Face Quicksand.
– More coffee. This is not good. All this energy and no will to put it anywhere.
– Go to the stationery room. Get a pen. Think about getting a tape dispenser. This is pointless, I can’t remember the last time I taped anything to a wall. But they kind of look cool. With that on your desk, you look like you do things.
– Face Bottomless Pit.
– Try to download something off the net. Fail. Think about asking the very tech guy at work to help me. But then that would look like I was doing nothing. So that won’t work.
– Go by desk of attractive person again. Wonder if he is attractive or if this is a proximity infatuation.
– Face Imploding Dark Star.
– Back to the cookies in the kitchen. Eat two.
– Face Black Hole.
And what do you know. Only two hours to lunch.